How My Husband Finally Quit Smoking

Few things have challenged me in my marriage more than my husband’s smoking.

It didn’t bother me when we were dating, but as soon as he moved in and the kids were involved, I became obsessed. I NEEDED him to quit.

Of course, as a licensed therapist I thought I could help.

I dragged him to the doctor, and the pastor and the hypnotist. He would sit there sullenly, and smoked on the way home.

He said he wanted to quit, but that I was stressing him out (which of course, made him want to smoke) and he needed more space in order to figure it out for himself.

But instead of giving him that space, I read him an ultimatum out of a popular Christian book (thank God I’ve since learned a much more feminine and attractive way of setting limits). I said I thought he should move home to his parents’ to quit smoking.

Unsurprisingly, he was deeply offended. He didn’t say much, but I felt exactly the same as I did in my first marriage.

Hopeless, desperate, drained from trying to change something I couldn’t. Like I was hitting my head against a wall. And losing him in the process. 

Then I learned what it means to take the log out of my own eye.

It took a lot of support for me to learn. I had a lot of blind spots. 

When I got enough support, I was overjoyed to find that I was so in love with my own life that I did not think whether my husband smoked or not. I refused to give it one speck of my happiness, because it wasn’t my life, and I couldn’t control it.

And you know what? He quit without even telling me. And then, he quit nicotine toothpicks without telling me two years later.

The best part? 

I can tell you with confidence that I do not stress him out. 

And I want that for you too.

My six month 1:1 coaching program has the exact same structure as the program that helped me get free. 

It can be hard to see a way out when your husband has bad habits that drive you crazy. I’d love to support you to see possibilities for your relationship that you never imagined were even there. It all starts with one call. We will talk about your marriage and current struggles, and I will share the blind spots and areas for growth that I see. You’ll walk away with fresh hope, whether we choose to work together further or not. You in? Simply click here to schedule your free consultation!